This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
