i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
