Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
