If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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