I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize