I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
