i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have feelings that need drinking.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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