i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
