Kiss
Puke
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
