now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
where are my eyebrows?
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