Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
