I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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