You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
