Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
