Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We won't sleep together?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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