Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
