i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
