what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize