The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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