after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
