Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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