are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
