Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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