Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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