I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
