atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Text me some of your sweat
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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