I didn't shave. On purpose
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
