well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
bring money and cleavage
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
