6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
