do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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