the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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