Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
