so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
