she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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