I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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