yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
