The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
