id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
