it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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