I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
