This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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