This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
