I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
