after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Success! We fucked roommates!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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