There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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