how can u be prego again
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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