Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I touched a dick in church today
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