They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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