I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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