yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize