Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
