Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
