Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
