i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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