I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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