i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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