He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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