I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
