My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
