ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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