i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
