Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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