I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
