i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
